“Enter Sandman” (1991) by Metallica
“Enter Sandman” (1991) by Metallica
I just came back from the gym and immediately came to my computer to write this.
There’s a gym at the bottom of my apartment block. It’s fairly large – to accommodate 200 residents or 40 of those who can be bothered getting their arteries unclogged on a daily basis. There’s a large swimming pool beside it. There’s a TV directly in the corner. All the equipment faces the TV. The rower faces the TV. The treadmill and the bike. That climbing thingee – also faces the TV. There’s the push-up thingee too that faces the TV. There’s also dumbbells just underneath the TV. And the TV is beside the window ranch slider. That’s all the equipment I guess you need to work out. I understand all the essentials are covered. If you want more, you’d go to a real gym. But I’m happy with the equipment, even if I don’t know the names of the stuff there.
I decided to go for a row so went down. Only rarely are all equipments being used. But more often than not, either one other person is there or no one. I walked in to see an Asian guy – could be 1.8 tall, wearing a black shirt, pumping iron with 2.5 kg’s. He gave me the eyebrow lift and turned back to work it. I sat at the rower, stuck my feet in, grabbed the handle and pulled back and forth.
This song was playing on the TV. As it would work anywhere else anyway, if you were the first in the gym, you have rights over what plays on the TV. I like to watch Sport or some news. Sometimes I take my iPod down and listen to my own music whilst anyone there would watch whatever they’re watching. Obviously this guy likes music whilst working it. Everyone respects everyone’s TV choice or decision of equipment and lets them be. Now, here comes the awkward part.
Without doubt, since the equipment is facing the TV, you cannot help but face the TV. Plus it’s the only real noise coming from the room. Your ears hear it, your eyes see it – the TV is there. But this has happened to me before. Someone is doing their dumbbells and they are in the way of the TV. You can look away at the pool, at best, but somehow, your eyes will move to find out what’s on the TV. Even when listening to your iPod, your eyes will come up and, without doubt, your eyes will meet the TV’s. It is of habit to vision the only noise coming from the room.
So, here I am, dreaming I’m on the Thames River. And I can’t help it, I have to view the TV. But this guy’s in the way, so I can’t help but watch him. What’s worst, he thinks he’s outta my way, but he is in focus. And the hilarious thing is, I can see him whispering the lyrics to the song while he’s pumping:
“SAY YOUR PRAYERS, little one, don’t FOR-GET mah son, to include everyoooooooonne”
Oh god. In addition, he’s looking at his reflection in the window doing this, lifting hard:
“EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIT Light / ENNNNNNNNNNter NIIIIIght”
Sweet mother of Joseph!
He drops his weight. I know he’s gonna turn around. My gaze instantly looks at the pool. I act as if I noticed he’s moved. I act as if I was watching the shimmer on the water the whole time. I act as if I turned around to notice him for the first time. I look up. He forgot someone else was in the gym too. He walks around to the Treadmill. He thinks twice about hopping on it. But instead moves to the bathroom.
There’s a bathroom just beside the entry door. If you open the bathroom door, there’s a loo on the left, a shower on the right and mirror directly in front of you.
Now that he’s outta the way, I’m now watching the TV. But in the corner of my eye, the guy lifts his shirt to check out his own abs in the mirror. I hold my giggle down as hard as I can and use it to paddle faster. Luckily he didn’t notice. He moves to the Treadmill, relents on hopping on it and does another dumbbell. He does 20 or so more lifts then leaves.
I crack up. God, what a douchebag jock.