100 Days Project

Ben: 100 Writings / 100 Opening Guitar Hooks

various, random creative expressions / writings, inspired partially by 100 popular songs (songs that somewhat begin with a leading hook of a guitar.)

Day 60:

“The Rocky Road to Dublin” (2001) by Dropkick Murphys

“The Rocky Road to Dublin” (2001) by Dropkick Murphys

Have you been to South Boston? I have. I met a mate there – Ben O’ B., short for Benjamin O’Brien. Last week, he just finished serving a month at Pondville Correctional for Aiding and Abetting. Poor guy. Silly boy. Anyway, I stayed with him for around two weeks in 09 and he showed me around town. Boston is a beautiful place. He said to me not to bother with South Boston girls, Southie girls, while I was there. He said their breath smelt as bad as the Charles River and I’d probably take back to New Zealand an STD. I thought that was a pretty harsh thing to say. But I’d agree with one thing – Don’t fuck with Southie girls.

One night there, Ben O’B. took me to a bar in Southie. Southie is a place you don’t go to, unless you’re from there. Like South Auckland. It’s well introverted. Houses have been handed down, generation to generation. They stick to their own kind, predominantly Irish Catholic. Now, we walked into this bar and immediately everyone looks at me! But thankfully Ben said, “Arr, he’s wid me, it’s all cool, he’s wid me”, so everyone was like ‘alright. ’

We were in there, drinking and talking with him for around two hours, when these two drunk, like, sorority girls came in and everyone’s kinda watching them. All of a sudden one of the girls goes “Er mah gahd, who’ve I gotta fuck to get a drink in here!” And from the cold reception I got, I was thinking, oh, shit, something’s gonna happen here!

And she said it again, but louder, “I SAID, WHO’VE I GOTTA FUCK TO GET A DRINK IN HERE!”

An inquisitive Southie girl, from behind us, got off her stool, a blazin’ redhead, and went right up to the sorority girl’s face and said, “Arr, Who are you? Arr, Where yea from?” The sorority girl replied in the most un-Massachusetted accent, “Umm, I’m from Dorchester?!”

Now, from the accents I heard whilst I was there, the sorority girl was definitely an outsider. She should’ve replied like other Bostonians or Dorchesterians: “Arr, arm from DEOOR-chester, arm from the Dah.”

Unimpressed, the redhead said, “Yea not from fuckin’ Deoorchester! Yea not from the Dah! If yea from fuckin’ Deoorchester, I wanna hear how you say cah! Say cah!”

Apparently in Boston, saying the word ‘car’ is an acceptable form of ID.

So when the redhead was, like, “Lemme hear how you say cah! Say cah!” I saw the entire bar lean in, still not saying anything, thinking, ‘alright, girl, let’s hear it!”

So the sorority girl said – “Umm, CARR!”

And the entire bar, talking loudly for the first time went, “Arr, fuck, she’s not from fuckin’ Deoorchester”, “whatta fuckin’ liiar!”, “she ain’t from Deoorchester”, “she’s a fuckin’ liiar!” And then we heard one guy’s voice coming from the far back of the room say, “Boddl’er.” The redhead replied, “Boddl’er?” And voice continued, “fuckin’ Boddl’er!”

So the Southie redhead grabs a near empty beer bottle from just behind the bar and fucking smashes it over the sorority girl’s head! Me and Ben and the rest of the bar were, like, Holy Shit!

And so the sorority girl, who really wasn’t bleeding at all, screamed, “ER MAH GAHD! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

The redhead said, “Two for one, bitch! – There’s yea drink and now yea fucked!”

Don’t fuck with Southie girls.