“Got To Choose” (1974) by Kiss
“Got To Choose” (1974) by Kiss
Starting from "MARK ONE", begin your quest for two free tickets to see KISS, live in Melbourne, in March. But don’t forget – you ‘got to choose’ wisely!:
You are at home. The radio is on and suddenly they are starting the competition right now! All ya gotta do is call into the studio, be caller number nine and answer one question! Do you:
• Use your home phone to call in, which is in the next room (go to MARK THREE)
• Or use your cellphone, which is in your pocket (go to MARK SIX)
You answer the phone. “HELLO!?” It’s your partner: “Hey, I heard the competition’s starting now. You should call in!” Do you:
• Say “I KNOW, I FUCKIN’ KNOW!”, rudely hang up on them and try to call into the studio (go to MARK SEVEN)
• Or, explain calmly that you already knew and that you were just about to call in, before they rang (go to MARK FOUR)
You arrive at your home phone. You are about to lift up the receiver, when suddenly it rings. Do you:
• Answer this phone call (go to MARK TWO)
• Or, hang the phone up immediately and try to call into the studio (go to MARK FIVE)
Your partner understands, hangs up and lets you call in. Just before dialling in, you think about how to time yourself for a result in becoming caller number nine, rather than any other number. Do you:
• Call in right now (go to MARK EIGHT)
• Wait seven seconds to, maybe, increase your chances of becoming caller number nine (go to MARK NINE)
You hang the phone up and dial into the radio station. It’s a busy signal. Faintly, from the radio in the other room, you hear that the competition has ended. Someone else had won. You have lost out, my friend. The End.
You open your Smartphone but the last internet page you were browsing at, comes up. It’s the Tradme bid you were watching. It’s a boat trip around the harbour. You wanted it as a surprise present for your partner. And it was going for cheap and it’s closing soon. Do you:
• Forget about the Kiss opportunity and keep your eye on this Trademe bid (go to MARK TEN)
• Close that internet page and open the phone to call the studio now (go to MARK EIGHT)
You immediately call in. It’s a busy signal. Your partner walks into the lounge and is not happy with you! “What is your god damn problem?!” Your partner picks up the home phone and throws it at you. You both begin to argue. The competition will eventually end. You will miss your chance. You have only to look forward to a night of yelling, throwing things and hate for your partner. The End.
You call in immediately. And without the phone ring, the D.J. says to you, “hi, there!” You say, “Oh, my god, I can’t believe I got in.” The D.J. replies, “You sure did get in, but you’re caller number eight! So, so sorry!” You are abso-fuckin’-lutely gutted. The End.
“…five … six … seven!” You call in immediately. The phone is ringing. Just then, your partner has arrived home and is knocking on the front door for you to let them in. You have ignored your partner for at least a minute already now, waiting instead for the D.J. to pick up. Do you:
• Hang up the phone, let your partner in, then rush back to redial (go to MARK SEVEN)
• Hang up the phone, let your partner in, apologise, explain, then go back to redial (go to MARK TWELVE)
You forget about Kiss and keep an eye on this bid. After forty minutes of waiting, some other punk auto-bids on yours. You are not spending more money than your original bid! The time limit extends automatically. You now cannot be bothered waiting or fighting for this boat trip. You close your internet browser. The radio interviews some guy who won the Kiss tickets. You have lost twice. The end.
To cut a long story short, Kiss end up playing a free gig for you and your partner in your backyard. You invite all your friends, family and neighbours. It is a fantastic night. Noise Control turn up, but they, in turn, end up crowd surfing. You take a photo with Ace Frehley. The band sign all your Kiss memorabilia. Gene Simmons sleeps with your Aunty Marie.
You hang up, let your partner in, you say “sorry, sorry, sorry, but I was calling for the competition.” Your partner understands and, surprisingly in fact, rushes in before you - to dial into the studio! You both smile. Your partner is excited as the D.J. speaks to them. Unfortunately, the D.J. says to your partner: “Sorry, but you’re caller number three.” You say, “Oh well” The End. (For a consolation prize, you have sex later that night! Woo Hoo!)